Shen’s Master Cleanse

So I wake at 5:45 to squish some lemons, so I have a recipe now:

96oz of Brita filtered water
24 tablespoons of lemon juice
24 tablespoons of maple syrup
a little more than 1 teaspoon of cayenne pepper

I didn’t do a SWF or laxative tea because I didn’t want to blow on the drive to work.

I had an hour meeting and didn’t have any Master Cleanse Lemonade until 9am, my stomach was grumbling!

Once I started drinking it, about 16 oz, I had to do the number 2. Nothing special, it was small but still normal.

I had two cups of my smooth move laxative tea.

I had 3 more dumps at work, the final one was practically like pissing our of my ass.

My stomach [intestines to be exact] were pretty painful for a few minutes, on and off. It felt pretty bad, also my anus felt hot and pepperminty. Not worse than the day after taco Tuesday and a bunch of jalepino peppers.

I only finished about 7 or 8 servings of the lemonade, I had the saltwater flush late at night and pretty immediately I had to squirt it all out.

I cannot wait until I start pooing some mucus or jelly! These wimpy poo’s aren’t the most fun. I slept fine[nothing special].

So I work up at 6:30 am and started making lemon juice, I made 12, 8oz servings to put in a huge gatorade bottle.

The cayenne pepper is pretty strong, but I got used to it after the first sip.

Work went fine, I peed a lot. Did the number 2 once. Did I say that the Salt Water Flush (SWF) didn’t work last night?

I haven’t been real hungry at all, my stomach has been a little rumbly around dinner time. I had six servings so far, I have four left that I made in the morning. Time to have that for dinner.

My girlfriend makes me go to the store to get food for her dinner. I took my drink with me, it was tempting at first but I just drank up and I was full. Ohh yeah did I mention that I am a vegetarian? I just walked through the meat isle and I wasn’t hungry anymore.

I got some tea, one is called Smooth Move, yes a laxative by Traditional Medicinals, $7 a box! I also got a mint tea. Hopefully I will take a #2 after the tea… the salt water didn’t work last night.

I drank the tea, hopped in bed and fell asleep. No #2 for me

I felt fine all day, at night I felt like I was going to get a headache but it never happened.

I recently read this post on how you should do fasts only after you have started eating better, instead of what usually happens; You go on a fast so you can start eating better.

It is an interesting read, he has an analogy about building a house and how it relates to preparation for fasting and it’s effects.

Remember, fasting is not a quick weightless plan, it is not a cure for all diseases, nor is it an instant pathway to God and spiritual enlightenment. Fasting is a tool and the more prepared we are to use that tool, the better our results will be.

Thanks for the reminder buddy

So the day before I begin I make sure I have the correct stuff(pictures soon):

• lemons
• maple syrup – I got it at costco and they only had Grade A(B is supposedly the best for the cleanse)
• Cayenne pepper
• Britta water filer
• Sea salt

I had yogurt for breakfast, spaghetti for lunch, and a costco pizza for dinner. The costco pizza was just b/c I had to get the maple syrup. Times supermarket was selling a small container for $7, costco was $17 for a jug.

The night before you are supposed to take a Salt Water Flush (SWF) and I did, but this was after I went out with thumper and kai. Thumper was on the island for the night so we went to Waikiki and had a beer at field house or yard house I confuse the two. I had some Belgian beer named ninicks or something like that, it was pretty good, severed in a goblet. Thumper and Kai both got an Eclipse which is half blue moon white ale and half gineus in huge half yard things.

I came home at around midnight and drank my 320z of warm water and 2 tsp of sea salt. I was expecting to have the squirts in the night but woke up fine.

So I post on craigslist that I will be doing the MC and I need a ton of lemons or limes. someone replies to me and says his boss has a lemon tree and gives me his number.

A real nice guy nate is, he picked me two grocery bags full and brought them to me at work. He works at the airbase next to pearl harbor, so he brought them to me at the Taco Bell on the 12th of March.

The lemons are pretty huge, I will try to get a photo of a bag of them. I am assuming they are good enough for the MC. They are yellow and they smell like lemons…

I don’t want them to go bad so I start planning.

So I have been trying to fit 10 days of downtime into my life, it has been tough. I kind of just decided it will never be the perfect time to do the cleanse, so why not now. There will always be something within ten days that would require eating or drinking….

What am I sacrificing?

St. Patty’s Day
Lunch with a ex co-worker that may have a job offer for me
Date night dinner with my g/f
Did I mention eating for ten days!

I have a few friends that have tried it, none for the full 10 days. My dad hiked through the Haleakala crater with just a sack of oranges when he was younger, I think that took him a day or two. Why am I doing it? It is kind of an experiment… Look forward to my goals post.

I will be at my girlfriends parents place exactly two days after my tenth day, I am expected to have a big dinner with them, hopefully it won’t be that first night I get in… Will I be repulsed by the taste of rich food? I may… They will understand, hopefully.

Why am I doing this? Why would I be stupid enough to try living w/o food for 10 days? What am I trying to accomplish?

Why not?!
It is partially an experiment, to see what all the hoopla is about it.

I don’t feel in the best shape, mentally or physically
I think the cleanse will be a significant way to make a change, more of a milestone. Usually I am like “I am going to eat healthier…” and then comes frozen pizzas or dinning out… Now I have a specific date so I cannot be like “ohh maybe just this time, I can start tomorrow.” With such an event like this fast I cannot be like oh next time.

The past few years I have always been stuffy
Whether it be my nose, throat, ears… I have this build up of mucus in my throat, whenever I get sick I wish I could just take a scrapper and get the lining of my throat so I can breath

I do have a small cyst in my ear
I got it cut our when I was younger but the hole never closed and it always had stinky dead skin in it. I am not sure but it would be nice if this dissapeared

My energy could use a boost
I do work out every weekday(almost) at the submarine base gym but I still hate getting out of bed in the morning. I usually sleep in till 11am+ Saturday and Sundays

Beer belly
I have a little belly I have been developing starting my Sophomore year at Iowa State University, those guys are boozers! My junior and senior year at University of Hawaii at Manoa didn’t help it either. I am not ashamed of it, even sometimes I flaunt my bambino I may be having in 9 months. It just would be soo cool to be flat in that area.

I will see if there are more things I should add, I just think a set few now are good so I can look back and see if the Master Cleanse did anything to help my goals.